My Twenty-Something Story

I have joked with my friends that I have had multiple Quarter Life Crises - starting from the very beginning of college. As a Filipino-American, my parents told me I had two choices: be a doctor or be an engineer.  Being a good daughter and someone that always sees things through, I chose the latter. However, I completed my studies with the nagging feeling that there was something else I was meant to do.  I pushed through, not without costs though.  In my efforts to ignore how I truly felt, I relied on food – binging on junk to numb out any negative emotions or pain I had felt through the process, resulting in a 20 lb weight gain on my small 5’ frame through my four years of college.  Despite the weight gain, on the outside I appeared very successful, especially since it was easy to hide the weight gain behind the social eating of college.  However, on the inside, I felt worthless, ugly, and incredibly lost.

Career-wise, my overachiever and people pleaser attitude paid off and for this I was very grateful.  I landed a job at a top Fortune 100 Tech company and moved to a new city.  My “Facebook/Instagram” life was great – great company, paycheck, and friends and activities to spend it all on.  Having left college, I also naturally started to lose weight.

But then, the high wore off… At 24, I found myself in another Quarter Life Crisis with the same doubts, fears, and worry that I had before. I began to question if this was all there was.  Shouldn’t I be grateful for everything I had, especially when so many people would be happy just having a job? I had dreams of helping people, travelling, and seeing the world and yet I was finding myself staring at a computer screen helping customers with billing questions and refunds.  I found myself drained and tired at the end of the day, but I felt guilty and stuck.  Something was missing… I had no idea where to go and what to do – the same feeling I had back in college.  Was life really going to keep on going with this pattern?

The problem was that up to this point, I neither loved nor trusted myself enough.  As a result, I had no idea:

1.     Who I was - What was it that I valued?  What were my strengths and natural gifts?  What did I want most out of life?

2.     Who I wanted to be - Up until this point, I realized had never consciously decided.  I had always relied on external cues from my parents and teachers to tell me who I was and who to be.

 

So then I began a quest of soul searching, blogging, reading and trying out anything and everything to answer the two questions.  While I learned much on my own, it was not until I worked with a life coach that I truly began to believe and embody my intrinsic worth and own up to my purpose.  Coaching also helped me to shake off some limiting beliefs with food that held me in the binging pattern.

Nowadays, I can honestly say that I live life with a greater sense of confidence, passion, and purpose.  I’ve also lost the 20 lbs I gained in college and now maintain it naturally without dieting.  I have come to look back on my experiences up to this point with compassion and gratitude knowing that they have led me to where I am today and the ability to empathize with anyone going though a similar challenge.  With these experiences, I pursued becoming a professional certified coach, and I am passionate and dedicated to helping twenty and thirty-something’s intentionally navigate their transition to the real world to have their best careers, relationships, and lives.

 

When I'm not coaching or working, I am probably:

  • Dancing and performing, all kinds (salsa, hip hop, and I especially love pole dancing!)
  •  Eating <3.  Food is one those simple, beautiful pleasures.  I love sashimi and avocadoes (together or in other combinations)
  • Failing at keeping up with a TV show.  I'm not the best at binge watching ha!  I'm determined to keep up with How to Get Away with Murder
  • Hanging out with my friends in rainy Seattle :)
  • Dreaming/planning of my next vacation