As a coach, one of the biggest things I help my clients with is the mindset for developing a healthy relationship with food and themselves. In our information-overloaded world, it’s not the lack of information that often keeps people stuck but their beliefs and perceptions. One of the biggest mindset blocks I see and had to overcome myself is the belief that you have to get things perfectly in order to be successful. Have you ever heard someone say something like : “I did so well with my eating.. Then I totally blew it… and then I kept on blowing it for the next 2 weeks…” ? Or perhaps perfectionism can show up as someone using food or another numbing agent to handle the pressure of not measuring up in a job or in school. Somewhere in becoming adults many of us learned to equate our achievements and external results with our self-worth. Perfectionism is therefore dangerous and addictive. It’s built on shame and fear that if we don’t measure up, we’re not worthy of love… and so often if we “fail” on something, we attribute it to WHO we are and blame ourselves. Perfectionism can also stop us from even trying or starting something because we prefer to avoid the pain of the “imminent failure".”
So whatever your relationship status, I invite you to use this Valentine’s Day to prioritize the most important relationship of all, your relationship with yourself! After all, even if you are in a relationship or not yet in a relationship and looking for one, you will still always have your relationship to yourself that will serve the basis of how you connect to and relate with others. Make today a day to practice self-love.
So how do you do this? Here are 3 practical ideas on how you can show yourself love today:
Hello everyone and happy belated Thanksgiving! In the spirit of the giving season, I’d liked to share a review about a book that revolutionized my personal beliefs about giving and success. The book is called Give and Take – A Revolutionary View of Success and was written by Adam Grant, a top-rated professor at the Wharton Business School.
The premise of the book is that people fall into three categories of reciprocity:
Givers - people who give more favors that they receive
Matchers - people who give as many favors as they receive
Takers - people who receive more favors than give
“This is the worst F@$k!ng support I have ever received! Escalate NOW!!! I want to speak to your manager!!!”
UGH. Highly reactive customers are the WORST!!! After a year and a half of working in support, I’ve had to develop a sort of emotional armor whenever customers get really out of hand. Luckily, most of my customers are civil and I’ve learned ways to calm them down (i.e. talk more slowly and softly); however, I occasionally get a call where I have to literally walk off the anger and frustration afterward. I may even request a hug from one of my friends/coworkers to absorb the negative shock (LOL, professional I know…).
Hello Twenty-somethings and other heroes on the journey, Today, I am writing about one of the most important skills for relationships. It’s something that could make or break a relationship; it perhaps could even save a marriage!