Posts tagged #self-love

3 Ways to Fall More in Love with Yourself on this Valentine's Day

So whatever your relationship status, I invite you to use this Valentine’s Day to prioritize the most important relationship of all, your relationship with yourself! After all, even if you are in a relationship or not yet in a relationship and looking for one, you will still always have your relationship to yourself that will serve the basis of how you connect to and relate with others. Make today a day to practice self-love.

So how do you do this? Here are 3 practical ideas on how you can show yourself love today:

Perfectionism: Striving for excellence or an excuse to play small?

I remember being in a job interview when the interviewer asked me:

“What is your greatest weakness?”

I’d smile back, so pleased to answer the question I know how to answer so well:

“I’m a perfectionist….I set high standards for myself and others. I achieve a lot but then can often get frustrated if things aren’t going as planned.”

Well, the part I’d withhold is the depth of the frustration - how this inner perfectionist never ever is truly satisfied.  How even if I achieve one thing, the goal line keeps moving further and further. How sometimes this inner  perfectionist makes me take on more than I can chew or say that I don’t want to complete something or deliver because I’m/it’s “not ready yet.”  

While perfectionism can be great to help us to strive and achieve more, on the shadow side, perfectionism can be maddening.  It can cause us to hold impossible expectations for ourselves that are more about keeping us safe and protected vs. driving us to grow.  In this way, perfectionism in fact is an insidious coping mechanism that can stop us from realizing our goals and full potential.

If you relate to this at all, make this your new mantra:

Self-Love: The Essential Step to Sustainable Change

In my coaching practice in my own experience, I have seen time and time again that a journey to a healthy sustainable weight and relationship with food begins with one thing: self-love.

One of my clients recently shared that a personal trainer once had said to her, “When will you be sick enough of yourself to start exercising?”  Frankly, if I had heard these years ago when my emotional eating was at its worst, I would have agreed.  Nowadays, I recognize where such statement can lead people to paths of suffering.  The statement reflects a big misconception in the diets and beliefs out in the world today - that we must HATE ourselves, PUNISH ourselves, and SUFFER in order to make positive change for ourselves.

Why NOTHING is ever personal - Let's build up that armor!

“This is the worst F@$k!ng support I have ever received! Escalate NOW!!! I want to speak to your manager!!!”

 

UGH. Highly reactive customers are the WORST!!! After a year and a half of working in support, I’ve had to develop a sort of emotional armor whenever customers get really out of hand. Luckily, most of my customers are civil and I’ve learned ways to calm them down (i.e. talk more slowly and softly); however, I occasionally get a call where I have to literally walk off the anger and frustration afterward. I may even request a hug from one of my friends/coworkers to absorb the negative shock (LOL, professional I know…).