Posts filed under Spirituality

“The Way You Do One Thing is How You Do Everything” - Why Healing your Relationship with Food will Affect Other Aspects of your Life

Have you ever heard the quote that “The way a person does one thing is the way they do everything?”  In other words, how one approaches any facet of life can be a good indication of how they approach other facets of life.  

I find resonance with this quote myself. I find that if I’m being a procrastinator, sleeping in late, and missing on my calendar commitments to myself, I’m usually putting of bigger important things that are keeping me stuck.  If my apartment is a cluttered mess, I usually find that my schedule is overcommitted where I’ve spent the week running around feeling chaotic. Or if I’m not following through on my commitment to exercise in the mornings, then this pattern of not keeping my commitments and finishing projects is manifesting in other parts of life like at work, my personal goals, and more.

I love this quote because it reminds me that everything in life is connected.  It also reminds me that even if external results (weight loss, new job, a new partner, etc.) are not directly under our control, the internal choice of WHO we are choosing to be and HOW we are choosing to express that in any moment is within our control.  After all, regardless of the place or situation, you are the common denominator in these experiences. Wherever you go, there you are, right?

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In this same mind, I find that as we prioritize our self-care and healing our relationships with food, this soon spills over to other parts of our life.  One of my recent clients had a relationship food which reflected her overall sense of feeling stagnant in life. This sentiment reflected in her career where she felt bored and unfulfilled and also in her relationship with food where on weekends at home she’d often use food to fill the void.  But after really tuning into what was important to her, she began to develop a habit of follow through and focus as she began to prioritize her healthy eating and exercise. By the end of our work together, not only did she start eating more mindfully, she also asked for and received a raise in a job she was passionate about.

Another of my clients was binging multiple times a week and reported feeling so lonely and ashamed after the occurrences.  In our work together, she began to develop more kindness and forgiveness with herself after her binges. In doing so, naturally the binges began to lessen and she found herself showing up as more open and kind in other areas of life.  In her relationships, she also began inviting people to see more of who she was and get closer in relationship.

So I’m curious what this article sparks in you.  Do you believe that the “way you do one thing is how you do everything?”  If so, where are these patterns in life is this serving you? Where are these patterns holding you back?  Now that you know, what will you choose to do about it? :)

I’d love to hear your comments and feedback below!  Know you are so worth it.



How Loneliness & Isolation Perpetuates the Binge Eating Cycle

 Just as physical hunger is the signal for us to eat, and thirst is the single for us to drink water, loneliness is a signal for us to seek connection.  Unfortunately, what keeps so many people stuck from seeking the connection and support they need is shame.  Shame is the belief that inherently there is something wrong and broken with us and therefore we are unworthy of true love and belonging.  This differs from guilt, which is a signal that we have acted out of alignment of our values. While guilt says we’ve done something bad or wrong (that could be changed), shame insidiously tells us we are bad or wrong.

The cycle so often goes like this for food and so many other addictive-type behaviors:

Feel intense loneliness and shame —> binge eat —> isolate oneself and feel more lonely and shameful —> continue binge eating

I’ve seen from my experience and that of my clients that feeling out-of-control with food in itself is painful.   Add on top of that feeling like you’re alone and the only one struggling with the issue and the experience can be excruciating.

3 Ways to Fall More in Love with Yourself on this Valentine's Day

So whatever your relationship status, I invite you to use this Valentine’s Day to prioritize the most important relationship of all, your relationship with yourself! After all, even if you are in a relationship or not yet in a relationship and looking for one, you will still always have your relationship to yourself that will serve the basis of how you connect to and relate with others. Make today a day to practice self-love.

So how do you do this? Here are 3 practical ideas on how you can show yourself love today:

Returning to Wholeness  – What your Out-of-Control Eating May Signal It’s Time to Heal

 Often times, the traits we accept and don’t accept are related to what our primary caregivers and society told us was acceptable and unacceptable. In fact, this is often what I see in my client work and with my own journey – that often times the difficulties we have in moving forward reflect some unhealed parts of us that are calling for our attention.

Perfectionism: Striving for excellence or an excuse to play small?

I remember being in a job interview when the interviewer asked me:

“What is your greatest weakness?”

I’d smile back, so pleased to answer the question I know how to answer so well:

“I’m a perfectionist….I set high standards for myself and others. I achieve a lot but then can often get frustrated if things aren’t going as planned.”

Well, the part I’d withhold is the depth of the frustration - how this inner perfectionist never ever is truly satisfied.  How even if I achieve one thing, the goal line keeps moving further and further. How sometimes this inner  perfectionist makes me take on more than I can chew or say that I don’t want to complete something or deliver because I’m/it’s “not ready yet.”  

While perfectionism can be great to help us to strive and achieve more, on the shadow side, perfectionism can be maddening.  It can cause us to hold impossible expectations for ourselves that are more about keeping us safe and protected vs. driving us to grow.  In this way, perfectionism in fact is an insidious coping mechanism that can stop us from realizing our goals and full potential.

If you relate to this at all, make this your new mantra: